| Oh you silly stupid pastime of mine
You were always good for a rhyme
And from the first to all the last times, all the signs
Said 'Stop' - but we went on whole-hearted
It ended bad, but I love what we started
But the last one I had who was getting my hopes up
I might've been a little fast to dismiss
I think he let me down, when he didn't disappoint me
He didn't always guess right, but he usually got my gist
So wait till I get him back
I'm gonna bring him home and I'll watch him unpack
Yeah keep turning that chin
And you will see my face is fixed on the one
I'm gonna get back
I'm gonna get him back
I am
I LOVE FIONA APPLE! |
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| Do you ever just get that feeling where you don't want to talk to anybody? You don't want to smile, and you don't want to fake being happy. But at the same time, you don't know exactly what is wrong either. There isn't a way to explain it to someone who doesn't already understand. If you could have anything in the world it would be to be alone. People have stopped being comforting... and being alone never was. At least when you're alone, no one constantly asks you what is wrong
and there isnt anyone who wont take 'I don't know' for an answer. You feel the way you do just BECAUSE. You hope the feeling will pass soon and that you will be able to be yourself again, but until then all you can do is wait..
"You know that things aren't going well for you when you can't even tell people the simplest fact about your life, just because they'll presume you're asking them to feel sorry for you. I suppose it's why you feel so far away from everyone, in the end; anything you can think of to tell them just ends up making them feel terrible." - "A Long Way Down" by Nick Hornby |
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| I feel vulnerable for the same reason I feel strong.
EDIT: So, work was stupid. All I can think about is you, 24/7. I'm so miserable, it's disgusting. I find myself not enjoying things I used to, and now i'm just enternally angry with myself. I ruined the best thing I ever had, and I don't know when (if ever) i'm going to get the chance to make things right. All I want is one more chance. One "do-over" and I know everything would be okay. I'm uncertain about a lot of things, but i'm positive that you and I are meant to be together. I love you more than anything else in the entire world, but lately I feel like you are losing your love for me. It hurts so much because I know I did this to myself, and as much as I try and pretend I don't care, I do. Every time I see you, my heart breaks. I realize what an amazing thing I had, and I get so sad inside for pushing you away. But i've come to realize that the times when I push you away are some of the times that I want you there the most. You make me feel like everything is okay. Whatever is going on in my life, you being with me makes me feel good. You make me forget. All I can think about when i'm with you is how much I love you, and how special you are to me. I cringe at the thought of you being with another girl, because she could never love you as much as I could. But then again, all of your friends seem to think that i'm a shithead when it comes to our relationship. They could be right though. As much as it would kill me, maybe I just need to let you go. I want what's best for you, and everybody else seems to think that you would be better off without me. I'm just exhausted. I want you back. I love you. |
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